May 19th, 2010
Dear St. George’s Family,
We are finally resting in our room in the ICU at Hamilton General after a very long 20 hours. This ordeal began yesterday in the late afternoon when Rhonda began to present symptoms of severe brain swelling – following our first radiation treatment. Noticing the early warnings, I began talking to nurses and advocating to have her seen by a doctor. After much hard work and by God’s grace the resident on call who in turn called in the radiation oncologist saw Rhonda. He was called at 10:00pm and was in the hospital by 10:30pm. We were transferred from the Henderson (the cancer clinic) to the General (the neurosurgery hospital) by 12 o’clock midnight.
Rhonda’s cognitive function decreased all night while her headache continued to climb off the charts. I spent the night curled up on the hard floor next to her bed to pray, weep, cry out for the Lord to have mercy and watch my wife sleep in pain. A CT scan was administered in the small hours of the morning and it was determined that she would need some surgical intervention to prevent the swelling from becoming catastrophic.
By 9am we were well on our way to catastrophic. Rhonda lay in the bed unable to converse while drifting in and out of consciousness. Her headache was escalating in spite of heavy pain medication, while her cranial pressure reached near lethal levels. Something had to be done quickly.
The neurosurgical team decided that the best option available was to insert a permanent shunt into her brain. A shunt is a valve allowing the swelling to drain from her head into her body where it is then dispersed.
At 10:30am we prayed for Rhonda and I watched as they wheeled my dearest friend away for yet another brain surgery. So many of you came to pray with us during the surgery. I am sorry that I wasn’t better company, but words could never capture the depth of my love and appreciation for each of you. Your prayers sustain us. Your friendship is humbling.
The shunt was a success. It drained the excess fluid from Rhonda’s brain, relieving the headache and restoring most of her cognitive function. She is still very weary, spending the entire afternoon sleeping. But we rejoice that this turn for the worse has been turned around by the surgical team at the General and out of the goodness and mercy of the Great Physician.
While Rhonda sleeps I write to you.
Tomorrow will hold many decisions, but God will give grace for each step along the way. Please continue to pray boldly for Rhonda. In the face of Rhonda’s deterioration today I was reminded of how hopeless the walls of Jericho must have appeared to a rag-tag band of nomads. Please pray for Matthew. He is praying like never before and trusting Jesus. Pray that the Great Shepherd of the sheep would watch over his precious, tender, faith-filled heart. Please pray for me. I am weary. My heart is heavy, and that has not been a surprise. The amount of energy and diligence required to advocate for my wife, navigating our hospital and health care system has floored me. Understand, I am not complaining about the quality of care we are receiving. We have been blessed with many compassionate and competent surgeons, residents, nurses and technicians. I am tired because I have had to champion Rhonda’s care while literally battling off unhelpful treatments. Ask me about it sometime over coffee and I will tell you how the Lord gave me wisdom and guidance to know when to dig in – and how it saved Rhonda’s life.
My heart is hurting, but my eyes are fixed on Jesus. He is most chiefly glorified in us when we are most deeply satisfied in Him. When everything is stripped away I am resting in the experienced truth that He is sufficient.
I pray for you all, giving thanks to the Father for your faithfulness and for the compassion and care you have shown my family.
God of all mercy, redeem this suffering. Bring good out of our struggle. We know nothing is wasted in your economy.
Lord, heal my wife. Jesus, protect my son.
Leaning on the Everlasting Arms,
RD
Thanks for all your efforts, and these updates.
You are doing your best looking after Rhonda.
It was good to hear the shunt helped her pain and swelling. We are praying for strength for you, Rhonda and Matthew.
Dan
I, amongst thousands of others, continue to pray!
Ray-David,
Thanks so much for keeping us updated. We all gathered together today to pray for you guys in the 100 Huntley Street media group and we’ve been checking regularly to find out how she – and you and Matthew – are doing. You are all much loved here and our prayers continue for you daily. We’ve put a picture of Rhonda up in the kitchen to remind us to be in constant prayer. Your updates and insights are inspiring and heartbreaking, and we are all on this journey with you.
Ray David Our prayers for Rhonda have been continuous today. We pray also for Matthew and yourself. May God give you the stamina to carry on HIS will. We believe HE only will carry you through this time. We love you and will continue to pray for you and your dear family.
I hope you don’t mind this rather long quotation I’m adding, but I was editing an interview with Ravi Zacharias today, and he quoted this poet in the interview. It was so beautiful, and I could hardly think of anything more fitting for what your family is facing. I hope it brings you comfort:
Annie Johnston Flint, “He Giveth More Grace.”
The following quotation is from “CRIES OF THE HEART : bringing God near when He feels so far” by Ravi Zacharias as well, chapter three, “The Cry for a Reason in Suffering” pages 74, 75 (WORD PUBLISHING, 1998).
“I think, for example, of the powerful testimony of a woman named Annie Johnston Flint. She was one who lived most of her life in pain. Orphaned early in life, her body was embarrassed by incontinence, weakened by cancer, and twisted and deformed by rheumatoid arthritis. She was incapacitated for so long that according to one eyewitness she needed seven or eight pillows around her body just to cushion the raw sores she suffered from being bedridden. Yet her autobiography is rightly called The Making of the Beautiful. Almost like a minstrel from heaven she penned words that touch the heart in its despairing moments. One of her best-known poems, put to music, reads:
‘He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;
To added affliction, He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials His multiplied peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed e’re the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving has only begun.
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power has no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again!’”
Cheryl; How absolutely perfect and beautiful! What more can be said… but “my grace is sufficient”..
My prayer is that His grace, mercy and healing would be abundantly lavished upon Rhonda and family!!!
Ray David , Rhonda and Matthew,
Nothing can separate us from the love of God Which is in Christ Jesus
Love,
Rebecca
Let me first say, following my prior post, that I am not a medical person, but can someone get a message to Ray David please: Have someone keep an eye on the shunt so that it doesn’t get “plugged or warped.” It might not be known when it gets plugged, or if a kink gets in it, without keeping an eye on it. Check with a medical team person to see if a soft manipulation is required along the shunt line from time to time to keep it running clear. Just a thought. The Lord gave me a word in the small hours of the morning when I was praying but I didn’t know how to make contact, to say – ask about a shunt. There used to be something many many years ago called a (spelling?) Shuntz-Holder valve. I don’t know if that is still in use, perhaps updated for current use. It was a new technique 50 years ago. An ounce of prevention is always worth a pound of cure as the saying goes.
Ray David, we are with you. We ask Jesus to enfold Rhonda with His healing hands around her precious head. We are thankful that you are her “other” mediator and that you acted when you did for her. God bless you all.
We continue to pray. People used to say to me “if you have to be in hospital make sure someone is with you at all times to look after you”. I discovered this a few months ago when my husband was in the hospital for 4 days. No-one ever came to check on how he was doing and if I had not been there to ‘look after him’ he would have been left alone. Stay close to Ronda and to Jesus. Praying especially for Matthew.
My heart and soul goes out to you all. Stay strong for Rhonda, as I know you will.
Rhonda, you are in my daily thoughts, thou it has been many years since we have seen each other, you do not dift far from my heart. I watched your 100 Huntly St interview, my how you have grown into a beautiful woman. You are not that sweet little girl riding your pony, that I remember – bickeing with your sister Anne – how you 2 made us laugh so. These memories I will cherish forever.
Please rest and get well. Made god heal you asap!
Take care,
Love Susan
hugs from afar
Father our hearts are poured out for our beloved friend. We know time of testing will pass, but the difficulty is now. May you do wonderful things through this. please give Rhonda freedom from pain. Oh Lord may she hear your still small voice and be aware that you are right beside her when she is going through this. Be close to David and Matthew, may they hear God’s voice so they may receive comfort, strength and might. You are the Almighty One. Love Grace and Peace be with you.
How we all continue to pray and seek God’s healing hand for Rhonda, strength for you, Ray David and compassion for Matthew’s innocent heart. God, continue to surround this your family with your love, peace and grace in this dark valley that you promise to deliver them through it.
I am so sad, to know that someone so young has to suffer so much. So,so sorry.
Rhonda showed me many years ago the true meaning of grace and it is a lesson I have carried forward with me. We will pray for you my friend and we won’t stop. There is strength in numbers and I pray that God will give you peace to face tomorrow with all of the grace in your loving heart and soul! Be still and know that He is near, and He holds you all so very close…
All my love and prayers always!
Dear Ray David, Matthew, Rhonda, Jesus is the great Physician. Rest in His perfect Peace. Although I have not met your dear family, my Prayers are with you all. Blessings, Eleanor.
Just a wee note from Norwich to let you know that Church of the Messiah Bible Study is praying BIG prayers for healing for Rhonda and that all of your needs be met. From personal experience, I know how difficult and frustrating it can be to advocate for your loved one and navigate the health care system. Please remember RD that you know your wife best, other than Our Lord, and that it is ok for you to do whatever necessary to ensure that Rhonda gets the very best care, even if you have to get cranky about it. The Drs and nurses can take it. Sending you big hugs and bigger prayers from Norwich.
Eleanor & I are praying that the Great Physician may place His healing hands on Rhonda ! “By His stripes we are healed” Thank the Lord for the Doctor’s help ! The Lord give the whole family His strength during this trying time.
the headaches are the worst. I used to have to advocate on my beloveds behalf also. I was timid and shy, but the Lord gave me boldness and courage to intervene where needed. Bravo…God be with you. I am praying for Rhonda too and all of you. It is always hard to watch a loved one suffer…but thankfully the Lord does help us make the right decisions. My heart aches for you…
Dearest Rhonda, RD and Matthew, Even as I write tonight from Tucson, AZ. I am praying that our gracious loving Lord will bless you and keep you, will make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you, in a very intimate way, as you travel a path that I can’t even imagine. I pray for supernatural intervention and for your peace healing, and rest. Big hugs to precious Rhonda.
Although I don’t know you personally, I feel that through our God we are each connected, one to another. So many emotions tumble over one another during such a gut and heart wrenching time. I cannot pretend to feel your pain, but have been in a very similar situation that led me into these emotions. The tears that we cry from deep in our soul, when we don’t understand why, are part of God’s river of live, and are never wasted. He collects each and every tear, and cherishes it. As you know, all we can humanly do is pray for dear Rhonda, your son and yourself. When up becomes down, and down becomes up, try to keep your feet secure in God’s promises always. Let His love wrap you in the shield and blanket of His absolute protection and presence. God’s task for us is to pray and follow His example to love, always, every moment, and cherish what we have, each moment, while we have it. With my love and prayers to each of you …. Janet
Dear Ray David:
God’s Family haven’t stopped praying for your dear Rhonda, for little Matthew and for you Ray David. May this night surround you all with His Peace and Comfort.
God Bless You,
Barb.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all during this very difficult trial in your lives. I’ve watched Rhonda grow on Huntley Street and always loved her down to earth comments. I love you all and will continue to pray for healing for Rhonda, strength, peace and hope for you Ray David and Matthew. God Bless You.
Judy
Covering you in our prayers even now in the middle of the night. May God bring total healing to Rhonda as you continue to put your trust in Him. Even in our darkest hour God will show himself faithful. Praying peace, strength and courage for this part of the journey. You are not alone. Our loving Lord is right there with you and has promised to never leave your side.
Ray David, keep up the perfect work!
From my experience, when I was in the hospital on 2 different occasions, I still remember opening my eyes, from a long evening, 8 hours sleep, and my first vision being my father sitting to my right, against the wall, at the foot of my bed. Today, I still have flashbacks, of the feeling that someone has come to rescue me, advocate on my behalf and ALL my fear left. I also remember my sister coming in and bringing yoghurt with blueberries and strawberries on top from a nearby shop, donuts and a chicken sandwich. I really appreciated the food she brought me, hospitals only provide 3 meals. People need 3 snacks also, I have learned recently. I will never forget them. I know in the future, if I ever am in hospital again, they will, show up and save the day again. They are both lifetime “every Sunday” church goers and I know it is the Holy Spirit which motivates them to be the “arms and legs” as my saviours. Employees change every 8 hour shifts. When I began to realize that the hospital staff works on a schedualed day, I felt less fearful, a little more like I knew what was going on. Midnight shift – Midnight to 8 a.m. shift
Next is the day shift – 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. sharp
Then the evening shift – 4 p.m. to midnight, which is a more relaxed time, when visitors are permitted.
The reason I am informing you of this is, that it is healthy to have a schedualled day, where we can differente the different segments of the day, otherwise, the days are a never ending, and monotonous, which results in frustration. This is what I personally experienced, from the hospital patients perspective, on 2 different occasions.
Just wanted to encourage you, that you are needed and will forever be appreciated and remembered.
Thank you for the edifying for all Christians updates.
I forgot to include my name, on the immediately previous response.
Advocating for a loved one with the medical professionals is very exhausting. You have to be constantly vigilant and courteously insistent. We need to pray for grace and wisdom for RD.
We continue to pray for you all.
My sister and I are praying that God will mercifully heal Rhonda.
We had a thought: have you thought of bringing in some music that Rhonda particularly likes? we have, in the past, made tapes for family and friends who were hospitalized and they all found the music to be a blessing. A suggestion: Handel’s Messiah (in particular with Sir Malcolm Sargent, conductor, who has the best rendition we have heard) and it’s around 3 hours long.
Praise and Worship are weapons against the enemy.
Dear Jesus,
Heal Rhonda for beautiful Mathew and Ray David.
Thanking you, knowing, you saved me.
DEAR JESUS,
PLEASE HEAL RHONDA FOR BEAUTIFUL MATHEW, BECAUSE EVERYONE NEEDS A MOM.
KNOWING YOU WILL, BECAUSE YOU SAVED ME, MANY TIMES AND CONTINUING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SISTER IN CHRIST JESUS
Dear Ray-David,
Thank you so much for keeping us updated. We are praying for You Rhonda and Matthew. GOG BLESS YOU ALL
Dear Ray-David and Rhonda,
I am praying for you both without ceasing. I have been down this road with my daughter of 23 at the time. I know all about the swelling, shunts and all the brain surgeries. So I will continue to plead your case with our Heavenly Father.I know how tough a job it is to intervene and advocate on behalf of a loved one, and then to sit and watch them struggle. But God is a good God and he will see you through. Sometimes all you can do is cry out Jesus because he knows all about it. So bless you both in Jesus name and believe that you have an advocate on behalf of you both to God the Father. I will cry out to God for you, so don’t worry if you get weary and cannot pray others will take up the task for you.
I am praying harder than ever, for the Lord to heal Rhonda and watch over her and the family! You are always in my thoughts! Love, Zoltan
Dear Ray-David and Rhonda:
I live on the other side of the country. The only way I know of you both is through Rhonda’s involvement on 100 Huntley Street.
In find that in the busyness of a day the Lord puts you both on my mind and I begin to pray. Last night I was out for a long walk, and spontaneously I began praying for your family.
Although I am not familiar with Rhonda’s illness, I did many years ago almost lose a 15 year old son in an automobile accident. He was in a coma for a week and during that time we had no way what the outcome would be, and if he had a future what kind of quality it would be.
Ray-David I can say from the bottom of my heart I have never at any time in my life been so happy to know Jesus. I never would have made it through that terrible experience as well as I did if I had not known that my precious child was in His hands.
I know there are many more people like me out there who do not know you and Rhonda personally, but God has laid you on their hearts. Know that you are being lifted up by many known, and unknown friends as well.
I recovered from brain tumor over 10 years ago. I never forget how many people were praying for me. It gave us strength, when we were tired and weak. So many more people love Rhonda and are praying for her. God will raise her up. He will give strength to her husband and Matthew.
I am praying for you right now, Rhonda.
I am crying and PRAYING because our wonderful LORD and Savior is there for us day and night. I pray He will give a very Special miracle for Rhonda and a comfort for husband and son. Oh my precious Lord heal dear Rhonda. I only know her from Huntley street but I love her so much In Jesus Joyce M.
I am praying for you and your family Ray David, and especially for Rhonda that the Good Lord will do a miraculous work in her body b by completely healing her for His glory. Rest assured that when you are too weary to pray, remember that Jesus is at the right hand of God pleading and making intercession for you with groanings which cannot be uttered; and also that the family of God is always upholding you up before the throne of grace.God bless you all.
RD, Rhonda and Matthew
We will continue to whisper your names before a God who can do all things. Our heart breaks to hear this news but we hold on to faith.
Your fellow sojourners Jason & Carla Small
My dear brother
Please know that I am battling along with you in the spiritual realm. Rhonda is in the arms of the Master and He has good plans for her life. I will not stop praying until this disease is over and her life is back on track.
That child of yours is precious to Jesus and He will protect his pure heart. Jesus told us that unless we become like little children, we will not inherit the kingdom of God. So I pray for you three that God’s kingdom will reign on this earth as it does in heaven where there is no disease, no pain, no crying, no sorrow, no despair.
He is with you and I will continue to stand with you in agreement.
Hi R.D.,
Just wanted you and your family to know that we have been praying for all of you since we first heard about Rhonda.Our Tuesday prayer group at First Assembly Church in Calgary is praying for a miracle for Rhonda.Your blog has been so uplifting and informative, giving us such good updates so that we know what to pray about.Know that many believers are standing with you.God bless you,
Albert and Julia Bray
Prayers being sent to God for your wife Rhonda, you and your young son. I’ve never seen 100 Huntley St but heard a prayer request from a posting on Face-book from family in Vermont USA. I’m in the middle of the US in Iowa, hopefully someone saw my post and continued it on to many more people. Godspeed. Prayers said daily for all of you close to this trial. Ray and Mary Beauregard
Dear RD Rhonda&M.
You are in my thoughts & Prayers,
I pray G-D’S grace & sustaining strength be yours every moment.
psalm 23.
Ray-David,
The staff and faculty of Christ College where I teach are praying for Rhonda every morning. You are a great example to me. May Christ give you his presence and strength.
Ken+